Defeat Wants to Win, Don’t Let It
I’ll say it.
Lately, I feel defeated.
In times like these, I know I can’t be alone. And that’s why I’m opening myself up to you.
A few weeks ago, I spent $1,300 on public speaking courses for my career I don’t know will work. My ultimate goal is to become a motivational speaker. But sometimes it’s near impossible to motivate myself to do any sort of work toward that overwhelming feat.
I started work again which means less time to write, read, apply for jobs, exercise, cook, clean and work through these speaking courses. I have a degree from a great school. I’ve had “dream jobs” and yet I’m waiting tables again while I figure it all out. I don’t mind serving, but I’m embarrassed I don’t have a job society feels is real or worthy. If only people realized the skills and abilities you gain from being a server. The heat you take for someone’s “first world problems” of not getting the right light beer or because they chose to sit at a dirty table and they wonder why it’s not clean (odds are, there is a clean one right next to them).
That’s all beside the point. I’m not complaining, just writing “out loud” for others feeling any sort of defeat. I’m grateful to have a job at all.
Honestly, when I started writing this, I had no clue what I was going to write about and I actually still don’t— it just feels good to get it out. And I feel like that’s enough.
Defeat comes in waves, doesn’t it?
Two years ago, I was defeated in the sense that I would silently (and shamefully) cry in front of the mirror while my fiancee at the time watched TV in the next room over. I got to a point where I locked myself in the bathroom just to look into my own eyes and whisper, “Who am I anymore?” I said I don’t to a comfortable nine-month engagement for happiness I was uncertain I would find.
That same year I quit a well-paying job I hated, unsure my new one would pay the bills. Turns out, it does.
Sometimes when defeat tries to creep in, you just have to bite the bullet and risk doing something you’ve never done before. Apply for that job. End that unfulfilling relationship. Quit that toxic work environment. Ask that person out. Move to that new place. I think we could all agree that taking a risk is terrifying, but for anyone who has done so, it can also turn out to be the best.
If you’re miserable in any aspect of life, or simply just not feeling fulfilled, what’s there to lose?
Things always work themselves out. And if they don’t, they help you learn.
Things worked out before and I know they will again. If they don’t work out how you or I plan, clearly there is something bigger and better than we could have dreamt up.
Think about risks you’ve taken and focus on the good outcomes. Manifest what it is you want from this world. Don’t let defeat take over. Remind yourself to push moving forward.
If you don’t try something new when faced with defeat, how will you discover endless possibilities in store?
So, cheers. Cheers to overcoming defeat and getting through to the other side. Cheers to banking on our risks panning out. And most importantly, cheers to you having the courage to continuously move forward. You’re not alone.
